I first need to write about our wee Katy. She was the first ever volunteer we had on the croft, four years ago now. She came back several times while she was still a student and then got a job in Lochaline and moved to Morvern. Unfortunately, her contract has ended and she is leaving again. We feel so lucky for the time Katy has been here in Morvern though. She has contributed so much to the community and our lives. I know she will always be back to visit, as she is now as much a part of this place as it is part of her.
I’ve recently been thinking about who benefits from working on our croft and the the dilemma of whether to keep using volunteers. There are lots of young people in the community with skills and others looking to gain them; I can’t help wondering whether it is best to invest in the people already here rather than bringing more new people in. Having Katy in our lives has made this question much harder, as she wouldn’t have come if we didn’t have volunteers. I am also reminded by Alasdair that me and at least two other people living in Morvern are here because we came to the Highlands through volunteer schemes.
Yesterday, when we took Strudel, one of our two-year-old -steers, to the abattoir on Mull, we asked two young folks living locally to help us bring all the cattle in and load him onto the trailer in return for some beef. It was maybe just how good-natured Strudel was, and that the cows are hungry this time of year that made them easier to move, but a job that might have taken Alasdair and me a few hours with just the two of us, was done in under an hour with far less stress for everyone.
Strudel was three-quarter highland and very handsome. Despite his big horns and beefy look, he was a very gentle boy. We had castrated Strudel, and it was a good ten months before we realised that Strudel not only looked a lot like a bull; but he was a bull (or at least half a bull) as we hadn’t got the castration quite right. He ran in the same herd as his dad, Bracken and there were only ever friendly tussles.
I was glad he was well behaved at the abattoir, as they were at pains to point out the damage another highlander had caused earlier that day, pulling out several huge planks of wood when its horns had got caught in the run – as we have chosen not to dehorn any of our animals.
Strudel calmly followed me through the run as I held out some hay for him. His trusting compliance only making his death harder. Each time we go to the abattoir it is getting more difficult. Killing animals you have reared and cared for isn’t easy and it seems to have a cumulative effect. I have checked in with a couple of other crofters, and it is not just me who feels this.
I am still very proud to produce good meat that benefits the land, as our herd contributes to its care. I am just increasingly aware of how distanced I used to be, and many people still are, from what producing meat involves. One hundred years ago around seventy per cent of the workforce were in agriculture; now the sacrifices made for the meat on our tables is farmed out to others. I can’t help wondering whether this adds another layer to the loneliness of quite solitary work, and that many farmers carry the burden of this.
In my previous life as a filmmaker, I had ethical decisions, but they were never as immediate or raw as on the croft. I had to think about representation and the impact my films might have on those in them and others. I tried to be low carbon and not use disposable cups or plates, and I did my best to make it possible to be a trainee on my film sets without being from a privileged background.
Living and working in a small community, stewarding the land, and with animal husbandry the impacts of you own choices are so much more apparent and tangible, and this seems to me, a very healthy way to be.
Strudel
Katy
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